Who needs a title?

We’ll be taking a short intermission, Now till March

You’ll miss me like crazy.

Capybaraunicorn

In Case of Amnesia Episode 5

What?”

He wrinkled his nose, “Yeah, the Rathanki festival. I’m not really a party person either, but the announcement is right after.”

“Announcement?”

 ”To find out who will be sent to rescue  Izabeh. But there will be dancing aand food before that , so I thought-

He looked a little lost, and I felt sorry for him-for about a second. He had told me he was the senior healer, then interrogated me. How could I trust him?

“I’m sick.”

Akashan smiled, “You should just be a little dizzy. Fine for dancing.”

Why had I been suddenly sick anyway? It doesn’t matter-maybe Assiku will know, ” But what will I wear?”

“I’ll send Shallari in with a dress for you.”

 My reserve snapped and  I yelled, “I don’t trust you! I don’t want to go anywhere with you!”

He looked more sad than I was when they canceled the Vegtarian Club. (Even though I mostly just joined for the bouncy house at the annual awareness fundraiser.)

Akashan said, “I understand that you do not want  to come with me. I will not be around you if you go.”

I wanted to reply  but I didn’t know how. He accepted, slowly, that I can’t apologize, that the words were already in my throat but I was still swallowing them back up.

He walked out, mumbling, “I’ll get Shallari.”

Under different circumstance I would have felt  sorry- I feel sorry for him now. He betrayed me and I was  almost running after him and begging him to come back. I refuse- I’m better than that. But he seems determined  to prove himself worthy of my trust because Shallari runs in not very much later.

“What’s wrong?” she screamed

Huh? “Huh?” I asked

“Akashan said… She trailed off hesitatingly, “He said you were  in bad condition.”

“Akashan says a lot of lies. That’s why I told him I wasn’t going anywhere with him, ever.”

The tent walls swelled again and Assiku walked in, ” What a stupid thing to do.”

“Asikuu!” I ran over to her, “Are you okay? What did they do to you?”

“Nothing” she shook out her luxurious mane, “Theyr’e good people. Akashan’s a good person.”

I shake my head, “He betrayed me.”

“He did his job.”

I know he was doing his job but that’s no excuse. The reason he was wrong was clear as glass

as water

as air

as the fact that I had no real reason he was wrong.

But the clearest thing was that I had messed up and been mean to a good guy doing his job.

“He-

She stared me down and I hung my head.

“I hate to admit it, you coldhearted spike of a girl, but you’re right. What will I do?”

Shallari finally stands in fron of me, pale and trembling, “What are you doing? There’s nobody there.”

I shoot a look at Asikuu but she only says, ” No person but a writer can be seen in a world different than their own. Except for in the stories the writers tell-

This  seems ridiculous and complicated, and it makes Akashan even more odd. He could see Asikuu and that pegasus thing-he questioned me about them. But the funny thing was, that didn’t really matter.

“I talk to myself when I have a big problem,” I lied to the innocent girl, ” And right now, well…

“Let me guess, you’re trying to get Akashan to forgive you for telling him you will never go anywhere with him ever?” Shallari said suspiciously, “You told yourself that.”

I tried giving her my pitiful look (that’s like my normal look except…okay right now it’s my normal look but I’ve got a little bit of growing up to do still.) and pleaded, “Please help me.”

Shallari shrugged, “Fine. I’ve got some ideas But don’t try to use the cute face on me. I’m nine. I’m the master of cute.”

I shook her hand, “Agreed.”

 I guess the first part of the plan was getting me ready for the party, because Shallari took out a rough bark hairbrush and a few thin cords and did my hair, proving that a nine year old can demostrate extreme ruthlessness. After Shallari had pulled half my hair out and piled the rest on top of my head in a sort of updo, she dragged me to a giant building filled with food, dresses, and tunics. The girl didn’t let me try anything on, but stuffed me into a silky blue dress that’s split around the middle except for an inch long and inch wide scrap of fabric that holds the top and skirt together. (Apparently this is by design.) Shallari moved at what I took to be the speed of light, fixing an emerald pin over the fabric scrap, winding a sheer green fabric embroidered with intricate pictures of people, plants, and creatures I really hope are made up, and giving me emerald sandals. Then we moved on to the barbaric ways they take care of body hair, which I will never speak of.

Ever.

Don’t push me.

“How did I do?” asked Shallari

“I don’t know”, I grumbled, “You haven’t let me see a mirror.”

She positively skipped over to a huge rockpile next to the dressroom, picked up an axe twice as big as her, and split a boulder twice the size of me cleanly in half. That’s amazing, but not the reason I gasped. Shallari had made my eyes shine, and made the muscles in my neck, shoulders, and even legs look beautiful and well defined. My collarbone played with the light and i almost looked-

I tore Shallari off the ground in a hug. She laughed.

“Did you like it?”

“It’s a heck of a lot better than pajamas ,”I mumbled , “So what’s your plan.”

“This is it.”

“What’s it.”

“This,” she swept her arm at me, “You look beautiful go to the festival and he can’t refuse you anything.”

I rolled my eyes, “I’m not pretty, Shallari-

She swatted me, “Stop being stupid. yu’re already late.

I decided to listen to the girl, and ran off in the way she pointed. I almost got lost, but then I heard music that led me to a large, empty field. It was decorated with chuncks of mirror rock, gold statuettes, and complex arrangements of flowers and fruits. There was a space for dancing but Akashan was just  standing alone, watching the pretty girl from earlier  whirl around the dance floor with someone I’ll call Mr. Handsome warrior dude.

 I tapped Akashan on the shoulder and he turned

I stammered “I-

But he just swept me up and draged me to the dance floor, where I fell, mangled the dance steps, and I’m sure  looked really stupid.

 I’ve never had so much fun.

In Case of Amnesia Episode Four.

The golden boy sat down on the edge of my bed as soon as the pretty girl left. He also sat down on the edge of me!

“Get off!” You try being polite when someone sits on you.

He scooted off, “Sorry. How are you?”

I faked groaning , “Terrible. It feels like some guy with too much glitter in his hair just sat on me.

Golden Boy laughed, “I like you, you have a sense of humor.”

“I like me too.”

He lifts his head to smile and I notice how calm his cobalt eyes are in the midst of his wild hair, flushed cheeks and and… I swallow and close my gaping mouth,

“But you’re um, allright  too. Do you have a name?”

He extended his hand, ” I’m Akashan, senior healer.”

“Are you some sort of magician or something? Cuz Akashan sounds sort of magicky, and that would explain the hair. Oh, maybe like outside of this tent there’s a tiny bald guy controlling you, like don’t peek behind the curtain and, yeah, you don’t know the wizard of Oz, do you?”

Akashan looked puzzled, “You know a wizard?”

“Sure,” I said, then I realized where I was and what had happened, “  Wait,Where’s Asikuu? The cliff, and that pegasus!”

Akashan pulled a green vial from his sleeve and poured it down my throat, “Where did you come from?”

 The liquid burned,”Earth! I didn’t mean to. I was trying to go toYaiiimari to find something.”

“How did you get that pegasus?”

I sat up, “I don’t know. Are you actually interrogating me?

He blinked his deep  blue eyes, “Sorry. You just appeared. Do you really expect  to be trusted just like that?.”

 ” Um, yes.”

Akashan said, “Sorry to dissappoint, but the Lannarie could never have trusted strangers, but now that someone kidnapped Izahbe…”

“Someone was-

“Just answer the questions.”

“Fine.”

“Name…

“Capybaranicorn.”

“Height?”

I remembered how tall the girl he had come in with was. I decided to tell him I was ‘Oh, about five five five six.’

“Five four and three quarters,” I couldn’t lie to him? I couldnt lie to him! this was going to be a long day.

 It was.He asked me a lot of questions, finally letting me stop in what I guessed was the evening. SinceI couldn’t lie when he asked me things, I guessed the green liquid was a truth serum or something. Akashan laughed when I voiced that suspicion.

“The liquid makes it so you can’t run away, but you didn’t even try.”

“I’m still sick, Chuckles.” I growled, “So why do I have I had to tell the truth?”

Akashan shrugged, ” I don’t know maybe you’re some sort of freak or something.”

Sigh, and today started out so well, “Look, what are you still doing here–

He cocked his sparkly head,” Inviting  you to a party.”

Huh? Ugh. My Mom was right. Boys are more trouble then theyr’e worth. 

 ( Still mostly fiction

Thank you 4 comin’

This has been fun an’

Please leave a comment.)

Your chairperson of lame poetry,

Capybaraunicorni

 

The Third Episode of In Case of Amnesia

I figured I’d have some fun with the title.

I remember getting off of the Pegasus’s back, still straining against the otherworldly pull. I barely noticed one of the people force something nasty down the throat, and for a while, the feeling was even worse, with some sort of horrible drug haze making me weaker against the pull. Then, I fell to ground.

I woke up on the ground too, but this was the ground in a red tent.  A tiny girl who looked about five, and wore a light green dress stood with her back to me. The top and skirt of the dress were held together with what looked like strings of lime colored moonlight, and her hair was a midnight black with splotches of  cobalt. Her eyes…

Who notices eyes in such a strange person?

Please. If the soul had windows, serial killers would be caught before they killed, Hitler never would have started world war two, and those Mc Donald guys would never have led our proud nation in the slaughter of thousands of innocent cows!

What was I saying? Cows… Oh, cows have pretty eyes! … eyes … soul… the girl. Oh, the girl!

She noticed I was awake when I started stirring.

“Hey!” she smiled, her blue eyes twinkling (I did notice her eyes, I just wanted to mention killing cows is wrong).

“Hi” I said slowly, “Who are you?”

I’d asked the right question. Her chest puffed out proudly, “I’m a healer.”

This girl was adorable. Awwwwwww! Oww. Smiling hurt!

“A healer?”

She nodded.

I  half-grinned at her, “You must be the most important person here.”

She ducked shyly, “I’m not a full healer yet.”

“But still! You’ll be remembered in the history books. What’s your name?”

“Shalliari.”

“That’s a prett-

Two kids my age walked in, a boy with sandy hair and golden sparkles, and a girl with long magenta hair and a white dress. She was pretty.

“Jerk,” I muttered under my breath.

I like people, I like them a lot. Any person who has been embarrassed to death by me waving to random people in LAX airport knows that. It’s just… pretty girls weird me out. I hate  them at first, though if they’e nice I’ll make freinds. I didn’t know If this girl was nice or not, so for now she wasn’t my favorite person.

The boy was cute enough. I couldn’t stop staring at his sparkly hair. It wasn’t that I liked it, more the way you can’t stop staring at open wounds or that old guy at the pool who REALLY should be wearing a shirt.

Oh?

That’s just me?

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWkward.

The girl narrowed her exquisite eyes, “What does this Jerk mean?”

I bit my lip, “You hear really well.”

“Or maybe you are just foolish enough to believe I am either deaf or stupid-

The boy laughed wildly, “Girls, Girls, Girls. Be nice”

” I am.Jerk is a compliment.” I lied, “It means, um, Great…Lead…er.”

The boy winked, “So maybe I should go and  let you two get to know each other?”

“NOOOO!” yelled the girl and I at the same time.

Golden boy turned to the girl, “Lemme do my job then, feather duck.”

The girl swung her hips, “Don’t be long, shimmer bear.”

“Oh I won’t.”

Gag.

(End of Episode Three. These events are mostly fictional. Well, duh! Did you actually think this stuff actually happened? This stuff is obviously mostly fiction.  Except for me. I’m real. Trust me. Fine, whatever, just keep reading,)

Written in Case of Amnesia,

Capybaraunicorni

 

In Case of Amnesia Episode Two

Hey people.Don’t you hate it when you start reading something, and the author just gets off on a tangent on something completely unrelated? You know another thing I hate? People who start arguing with you when you tell them you’re a vegetarian. I mean seriously, I-

What?

Stalling?

Just to annoy you?

I’m not sssssttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggg.

Okay fine, a little bit.

Onto the important stuff.

Right.

Now.

The swamp was wet and muddy, and it smelled. Bad. Like Wet-dog-that-rolled-in-poo-then-ate-it-then-barfed-on-itself bad. As far as I knew, there was no sky , because it was blocked by the thick, huge leaves . The leaves belonged to short, squat trees which grew out of the muddy water. I myself had landed on my butt, and gotten water all over my pajamas.Asikuu Force had managed to land on a large clean rock near me, not even splashing the the putrid liquid on her ducky slippers. Her face arranged into a snarl, she reached out and grabbed me by the throat.

“dohngkt duoo thisnkg,”I protested.

“Why not? My life was just starting to get interesting. I almost was someone!” she loosened her grip just enough for me to speak.

“Look, if this is about me writing your story-

Asikuu tightened her hold again, “I have a life outside your stories.”

“Yoiuyuh ugjhjht”, I choked, after all, I could call her whatever I wanted, she couldn’t understand me.

Her eyes flashed, and she drew the knife that was was belted to her pink nightgown. I got the feeling she could understand me.

“I should kill you dead,” she announced , but then she released my throat, “But without you, I’m stuck here.”

“Can’t you just go back home like you go from earth?”

Asikuu sighed, “It’s complicated. If you imagine yourself somewhere other that the world you  were born in, you have to either do a task or find a place with patchy reality. Of course, someone else can imagine you into their world,but there’s no way of telling when or if that would happen. The task would take too long, so I think finding a place with patchy reality would be best.”

I smiled, “Well we’d better start looking.

To tell the truth, I wanted to stay in this quaint little world for a while, but in reality, Asikuu scared me. I wanted to get as far away from her as possible, to my world or to hers, where she would at least have to be civil to keep up her reputation.

I stepped

through the bushes,

around the rocks,

In something squishy

And right over a cliff.

I think Asikuu screamed louder than I did, but no promises there. I’m a pretty nifty screamer when I want to be. I caught some of the short, scrubby grass clinging to the cliff in my hand.

“Hold on,” Asikuu said in her emergency voice

“Oh, darn. I was just thinking about what a blast it would be to let go and FALL TO MY DEATH!” I saw clearly a fall of at least one hundred feet swaying beneath me.

Yep, I was a smart aleck even in the face of death. For once, Asikuu stayed calm,

”It’s all right.”

“WHAT DO YOU-

She laid on her belly out over the cliff, ” Shh. Concentrate on holding the grass until I tell you to let go. I think I can reach you from here.”

She reached out her hand and I stretched both of mine out to take it. Then, I fell.

“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-

Light flashed as Asikuu threw her dagger. It pinned my pajamas against the cliff.

“ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Oh I’m not falling. Asikuu, I’m not falling!”

“Great. Now imagine something that will make you get out of th.”

I closed my eyes and imagined a brown  horse with black trim and shining obsidian wings, and suddenly he was flapping beside me.”

“How did I get here ? Whoa! Hey, little thingy.” The Pegasus said to me

Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. I felt something pulling me out of the world, out of reality. I slumped against the rock, barely conscious.

 ”Fly her up to me!” I heard Asikuu through a thick fog, “Please!”

The horse snorted indignantly, “Does she have fare?””

“What?”

“You think I’ll let her ride on my back for free?”

Asikuu growled, “She’ll die if she falls, and If you let that girl die I will be having flying-horsie-wings -for dinner.”

Suddenly , I felt something like a cloud beneath me, and I was rising. On the other side of the cliff, I notice for the fist time a bunch of people. The girls wore sweeping, colorful, garments with artfully shredded torsos. The guys wore tunics that resembled long shirts. They carried a large gold net, and pointed to the flying horse.

Asikuu gasped very loudly.

“Whazzit?” I said sleepily.

“That gold net is the artifact Queen Hapaninni is missing.”

(End of Episode One. These events are mostly fictional. Well, duh! Did you actually think this stuff actually happened? This stuff is obviously mostly fiction.  Except for me. I’m real. Trust me. Fine, whatever, just keep reading,)

Written in Case of Amnesia,

Capybaraunicorni

 

 

In Case of Amnesia Episode One

Yeah, yeah, yeah, . Red is a color for editing only , I spelled amnesia wrong , my name is confusing. Allright, so now we get down to the fun stuff. Today started out normally. I woke up, went back to sleep, and woke up again later.( It’s a system I have. As long as I woke up at sometime previous to the point where I wake up late , I didn’t actually oversleep, which frees me to think of a better excuse.) A character of mine , Asikuu Force, who, being not in any sort of story yet, wasn’t actually a character at all… Let me explain. There are two kinds of writers.

1:  The Kind that is completely sane and who has never talked to one of their characters and or risked their life, limbs, or poured a viscous liquid all over an important government official to research a plot.

2: The exciting kind.

I am, of course, the second kind, who believes in engaging in the kind of conversations that just might get you locked up for schizophrenic behavior, and risking a lot of things that shouldn’t be risked for anything but stories. I won’t say anything about the viscous liquid, because it may be used as evidence in an ongoing investigation involving the ambassador to Norway and a vat of grape jelly.

So anyway, back to Asikuu Force. She woke me up very plesantly, by pouring a lot of icy water on me. She’s a good character , but she scares even me, when her long black air is pulled back from her face and she’s wearing her you-stupid-lazy-writer scowl, a long bronze knife, a pink, nightgown, and ducky slippers. (On just the right person, ducky slippers can be terrifying.)

I didn’t open my eves or move an inch, “I’m up. I’m up!”

She grabbed my bed, and tilted it to a very steep angle, so I fell headfirst onto the floor, “Yeah, you’re up  now.”

Asikuu doesn’t like me very much, because I haven’t found anything in her life worth writing about yet. She’s from a kingdom called Yaiiiimari, and she’s trained as a junior in the Yellow guard there. She hasn’t gone on any missions ,being only fourteen, which while being a good age for a writer like me, (in fact, she’s only a year older), means in the yellow guard that you cannot be promoted past a junior. And believe me, junior’s lives are all chorse and guard’s training. I can’t write about that!

“What do you want, Asikuu?” I muttered.

She pursed her lips, ” Come to the Yellow guard barracks. I think I may have found something for you to write about.”

I scrambled to my feet, “No. You know I can’t imagine myself places yet! Just tell me what you want me to write about, and I’ll see.”

Asikuu said,” There’s a mission coming up. Basically, an artifact has been stolen from Queen Hapaninni-

I giggled

“What?”

“Hapanni, ” I said, “Is a stupid name. Like Hot Pannini.”

Asikuu smacked me again.

Upon regaining conciousness I said to Asikuu, who’s face was swimming before me , “So you want to regain the artifact?”

“It’s a senior level mission.”

” You’re a senior guard now? Good for you.”

Asikuu sighed her how-did- I-get-stuck-with-such-a-stupid-person sigh, “I’m not. I’m only fourteen, remember? I want to sneak along with the mission.”

I snorted, “You? Aren’t you like a goody goody in  your own country.”

“Yaiiiimari has strict rules.”

I said, “They’re not strict if you don’t follow them.”

Asikuu put her hand on the hilt of her knife, “Look, are you coming or not?”

“Of course I’m coming! Asikuu breaking the rules! I have to see this in person.

I closed my eyes, and tried to imagine the wet, sandy kingdom of Yaiiiimari. Now you have to remember that I hadn’t eaten yet that day, and I had just woken up, and Asikuu Force hit very very hard. You understand  that when I imagined Yaiiiimari, I made it a little too wet?

Like a swamp?

Thank You.

Asikuu wasn’t as understanding as you are. My first sight in the place I’d imagined myself was her hand reaching for my throat.

(End of Episode One. These events are mostly fictional. Well, duh! Did you actually think this stuff actually happened? This stuff is obviously mostly fiction.  Except for me. I’m real. Trust me. Fine, whatever, trust, don’t trust, love, hate just keep reading,)

Written in Case of Amnesia,

Capybaraunicorni

(The i is like a roman numeral I which rhymes with fly. Which I am. Well I am! Hey I am the author I am in charge here-

Anyway, to all those in earth and beyond, may your stories be your guide.)